Ever since Jonathan’s seizures and subsequent diagnosis, MRI scans have become a part of regular life.  When first found, the tumor was already large in size, and the doctors were unable to take any of it out due to the shape of the tumor and the location in the brain.  Every three months we make the dreaded drive down to the hospital for a MRI with contrast followed by an appointment with his doctor to read the results, and talk over current or potential issues, problems, or treatment.  It’s an emotionally exhausting experience, and while it rarely tells us anything we don’t already know, it still sets you on edge.…

An unwelcome familiar emotion crept in this year as soon as the Christmas decorations started going up in all the retail stores.  Something as simple as shopping at Costco is enough to send me into a tailspin this time of year.  Not because I don’t like Christmas.  I LOVE this time of year, but some things definitely changed last year after Jonathan’s brain cancer diagnosis.  Payday has become a dreaded day.  I can’t help but feel incredibly alone in the midst of all the smiling customers filling their carts with all kinds of Christmas decorations, gift wrap and ribbons, and of course, all the seasonal gift ideas in what seems…