Letting Go

Well, today came much sooner than I had anticipated.  It’s funny how God works sometimes, but if I’ve learned anything over the years, it’s that obedience and worship moves Him.

Just last week I was writing about how thankful I was that God was using my time at my job to be available for people.  I also said that I didn’t know how long He would keep me there.  Almost as soon as my post was published, I felt a growing sense of……..something.  I had described it to a friend as “restless contentment”.  I was content in allowing God to work things out in his timing, but I was also growing restless in anticipation of some kind of change.  All day Sunday I felt a real shifting in my spirit, and Monday morning awoke me with a tension headache and a knowing that I had something to walk out that day.   I spent a lot of time praying in the morning, and in early afternoon, the email came notifying me that I had a job scheduled for Tuesday.  Protocol stipulates that I respond back with an acknowledgement that I received the assignment and would be ready to handle it.  God immediately said, “No”.  He clearly let me know that it was time.  I needed to let my job go.  I responded back to the office that I would not be able to take the job, and quickly followed that with a message to my boss letting her know that I would be turning in my files and equipment the next day.  Instantly, I felt completely flooded with peace in knowing that I had done the right thing, and all would be well.  For many, it makes no sense.  I have no other job lined up.  I don’t have a plan for the next step.  I just know that He is on top of this.  As I was at a church function last night, I received so many confirmations that I had made the right decision, but the even bigger blessing was experiencing the excitement each person felt in anticipation of seeing God’s promises fulfilled in my life.  That’s incredibly powerful and humbling!  I’m overwhelmed at how God continues to use what’s going on in my life to encourage and excite others.  This morning, I walked into my boss’s office, and we went through my files.  I have always kept her informed, but today I saw it hit her when I mentioned that in my brief 5-6 months there, I had been sent to three widows, a few different people dealing with cancer, others with loss of some kinds, and several who just needed someone to listen to them.  Most people won’t understand that it really wasn’t a job.  It was a ministry and a place of growing and stretching for me.  This half of a year sped by, and was NOTHING like I expected.

So what’s next?  I don’t know for sure.  The greatest faith comes in the stepping out and waiting.   So I’ll wait, and while I do that, I’ll snuggle more with my kids and work on my seminary classes.  I have an ambitious goal to get my certification and ordination before the holidays, and I’m so excited about it!  Some of the dreams in my heart are brand new, but some of them have just come full circle after many years of detours.  The last six years of my life have truly been a whirlwind, but I would not trade one bit of the growth I have experienced.  Letting go of the need to control my life and trading that in for the trust of the most loving God is the most amazing thing I have ever done.  I have learned the glory of letting go, and letting HIM, and I am SO thankful!