Oh, the Drama!
It can’t just be me…….have you too been feeling all the recent tremors and shiftings here in the Pacific Northwest?? Have your foundations been shaking and your windows rattling? No reason to fear, friend! Those are just the aftershocks of my crazy tumultuous life!
Dramatic much?!
Last week, I was enjoying lunch with a dear friend that I don’t get to see very often. In between bites of salad and nibbles on enchiladas, we were catching up on each other’s lives. While I stopped for a breath mid-sentence, my friend looked at me with wide eyes and exclaimed, “My gosh, you’re living out a soap-opera!!!”. Her very accurate comment made me pause for a moment before bursting out loud with laughter. If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry, right? And, I mean, I do see the humor in some of it. It’s a LOT of crazy stuff, and I am the person that RUNS from drama. I try to keep it out of my life at all costs, but this year especially, it seems to be chasing me down relentlessly and nipping at my heels like some rabid dog. It’s in literally EVERY area of my life right now, and much of it is impossible to ignore or avoid. It has been wearing me down, and after months of intense drama, I’m honestly just exhausted. My stubbornness and strong resolve have kept me standing, but I have also been reminded that doing it all alone is SO much harder.
I spent most of my adult life feeling that I was the only one I could truly count on. When my late husband got sick, God so gently but strongly showed me that it’s not in my strength that victory comes, but in His. And many times, His help comes in the form of human hands here on this earth. That was such a new concept for me then. Years later, I am still learning this lesson and stretching and growing as I accept the love and help from those who truly love me. It’s humbling to accept help. It’s humbling to surrender. And why is it so much easier to trust help from God when there are no other people involved? Because people can let you down. People can inflict incredible pain and harm. With God, they can also heal a broken heart and soothe a wounded soul. Trusting myself is easy. Trusting others takes exercising a muscle that may be atrophied at times. I don’t like feeling all the big feels, and I don’t like feeling out of control, but that’s part of what surrender looks like, and if I’m going to say I live surrendered, that means I have to surrender ALL OF IT. In the midst of all the “loud” going on in my life right now, there’s a quiet testing, and I don’t want to be found wanting. I want to know that I gave it ALL to the one who continues to mold beautiful things out of my messes. At the end of the day, I want to be able to say that I embraced the drama, laid it at the feet of Christ, and let it go. I want to look back and see that I was willing to do it ALL…..to delve into the uncomfortable, to embrace the new experiences, and to flourish in the midst of the unknown without hesitation. So bring it!! Whatever you’ve got, Lord, and whatever it takes, I’m yours, and I want what you have for me.
I know I’m not the only one in the thick of it right now. Many have shared recently that life has been pretty rough this year. You don’t have to do it alone. All this drama has got nothing on us. Joy and laughter are our strength, and His perfect peace will cover all our struggles. Let’s stay open and surrendered. Let’s look for the beauty in all circumstances and situations. After all, what’s a little drama between friends? We’ve got this!
Cody Carnes – Firm Foundation (He Won’t) (Official Lyric Video)