Living on a Prayer

Since this month’s MRI created more questions than it did answers, our doctor had decided to take our case before the tumor board for more input.  That was going to take over a week, so she did get Jonathan on steroids for swelling.  She let us know that the call nurse would be following up with us to see if the steroids were doing the job.  Within a couple days of taking the meds, Jonathan was experiencing less pain, but it would still come and go at times throughout the day along with some pressure.  Add to that, it was sending his emotions into a constant tailspin.  By the time the nurse called to check in with us, Jonathan could barely carry on a cogent conversation.  She called back the next morning to let us know that our doctor was wanting Jonathan to immediately stop taking all steroids as they obviously weren’t helping.  The doctor would be calling us back in a day or two with the recommendations of the tumor board.

That call came the following day.  Apparently, the doctors on the tumor board are unsure of what they are looking at.  There’s no question that the MRI looks much worse, and there’s no question that whatever is going on in his brain is affecting Jonathan more and more.  Turns out, the next step was to schedule a spectroscopy.  I guess it’s some kind of an advanced MRI.  When the receptionist called to set up that appointment, she found out that our insurance does not cover this procedure.  Jonathan’s headaches are definitely worsening again.  It seems to especially be bothering him in the left eye area, and the pressure is making him miserable.  Since we can’t do the spectroscopy, we are waiting for them to let us know what they feel the next move should be.  Regardless, there is no question that putting Jonathan on disability was the right move.

One thing that has become very apparent the last couple of weeks is that we cannot keep our home.  We just cannot afford it on the disability pay.  It’s okay……really, it is.  A house is just a house.  The heart of the people in the house are what makes it “home”.  Still, we need to get as much out of it as we can.  It’s a daunting thought considering that the deck is completely rotten and unusable.  I know that will hurt.  There are a lot of little cosmetic things inside that need to be done.  Honestly, my head is spinning from it all, and it can be so overwhelming.  God holds me in the middle of the tornado whirling around me and gives me peace in those moments.  He has been walking with me every step of the way, and that means that I CAN DO THIS!  Our friends and church family have started bringing meals by the house again, and it so helps to just have something off my plate.  We are so thankful for the support.  I know that you are all praying for us.  Please also be praying that we can get what we need out of our house, and that God will make the next steps clear.